Sondage

Cela fait maintenant un mois tout pile que Jinder Mahal est champion de la WWE. Selon vous::

Trophée CDC 2017: Payback

Hmm, je ne sais pas trop, je n'aime ni Reigns ni Strowman. Je pense que je vais m'abstenir.

CDCiste anonyme ayant consacré trop de temps à la campagne présidentielle française

 

Après le remue-ménage de la draft, c'est un Raw tout neuf qui nous propose fièrement son roster frais émoulu dans un ppv spécifique qui permettra également de solder certains comptes datant de Mania. Pour pronostiquer, vous cliquez ici.

 

 

La soirée sera épique: elle verra la fusion de deux catcheurs pour former la star ultime, Brauman Reigns!

 

 

Pronos sur Payback et tout ce qu'il s'y passera (ou pas)

 

 

Comme c'est maintenant la tradition, on vous raconte immédiatement tout le ppv, comme ça vous saurez si ça vaut le coup de le regarder (et accessoirement pour qui voter aussi).

 

 

Enzo Amore and Big Cass vs. Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson

Après ce match, la feud continuera sur une histoire de cheveux. Jaloux des crânes luisants de ses adversaires, Enzo voudra se tondre, Big Cass l'en empêchera au début, mais sous les encouragements de la foule, laissera faire. Puis Enzo mettra un costume, se taillera la barbe et disparaitra des rings pour devenir représentant en portes et fenêtres.
 

 

- M'sieu, ça fait combien deux plus deux?

- Heu... You can't teach that.

 

 

Kevin Owens (c) vs. Chris Jericho Singles match for the WWE United States Championship

 

Y2J aura déjà préparé sa valise pour partir en concert avec son groupe. Kevin Owens va bénéficier du passage du Drifter, qui fera le tour du ring tranquillou. Kevin Owens va s'emparer de la liste de Jericho et inscrire le nom du vétéran dessus, avant de l'envoyer en congé.

 

 

Profitez-en, c'est la dernière (au moins jusqu'à la prochaine draft)

 

 

The Hardy Boyz (Matt Hardy and Jeff Hardy) (c) vs. Cesaro and Sheamus Tag team match for the WWE Raw Tag Team Championship

Les Hardy Boys vont débarquer avec un vieux, un drone et un script, pour la plus grande joie des fans de la TNA. Le drone aspergera Sheamus d'un produit mutagène le transformant en Bebop des Tortues Ninja. Cesaro réalisera qu'un Suisse en Kilt, c'est complètement con.
 

 

Prêts pour un nouveau chapitre de la palpitante odyssée des deux frangins qui trouvent de l'or partout où ils passent?

 

 

 

Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt House of Horrors match

 

Il s'agira en fait d'un match dans un train fantôme trouvé à la fête foraine du coin. Le match sera tellement lent que le Big Show, chargé de 250 kilos, nous semblera aller plus vite. La vraie horreur sera l'odeur de la barbe d'Erik Rowan venu aider son maître.
 

 

Dans la maison des horreurs, l'endroit le plus flippant, c'est peut-être bien le coin cuisine.

 

 

 

Neville (c) vs. Austin Aries for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship

 

Ce match sera en opener, pour bien mettre en avant la division. Ce sera aussi le match de la soirée, tant les deux lutteurs vont montrer qu'ils méritaient mieux que le kick-off de Mania. TJ Perkins viendra foutre la merde, mais Gallagher viendra calmer ses ardeurs.

 

 

En découvrant la coiffure de Neville, Austin a ri.

 

 

Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman

Une stipulation à la con va être rajoutée à la dernière minute, comme un Ambulance Match. Reigns, sous les "vivats" de la foule, se relèvera de tout, jusqu'à ce que Strowman lui renverse un 36 tonnes dessus. Ne se revelant qu'après le décompte de 10, le Samoan perdra par countout. Kalisto se libèrera de sa poubelle pour aggresser le golgoth, nous ne le reverrons plus jamais à la WWE, et on ne retrouvera jamais son torse.

 

 

- Bonjour Madame Trogneux, c'est ici le cours de théâtre?

- En effet. Vous devez être Emmanuel?

 

 

 

Seth Rollins vs. Samoa Joe

Seth Rollins, ne voulant plus utiliser le Pedigree cher à HHH, va balancer tous les finish moves des légendes du catch. Samoa Joe se fera annoncer par Kevin Owens sous le nom de Jonathan le Samoan. Brock Lesnar enverra Paul Heyman superviser son futur adversaire à Wrestlemania 40, et refusera de lutter pour le titre avant.

 

 

(2006) - Tu me saoules gros porc, je me trace de la ROH! Je finirai champion WWE moi, marre de me faire péter les bras devant 150 ivrognes dans des gymnases!

- De quoi tu parles? On est au sommet du monde là!

 

 

Bayley (c) vs. Alexa Bliss for the WWE Raw Women's Championship

Sasha Banks va passer du coté obscur et va le montrer en rendant sa couleur naturelle à ses cheveux. Bayley va perdre son titre et ira se consoler en faisant un calin à Patachou, son ours en peluche.

 

 

- Tu sais Alexa, moi mon modèle dans l'histoire du catch, c'est Ricky Steamboat, un type gentil que tout le monde a toujours aimé, et qui ne s'est jamais renié! Et toi c'est qui ton modèle?

- Maryse.

 

 

Le vote c'est , soyez forts!

Mince, trop tard.

Du coup, moi j'annonçais Bayley, Jericho, Aries, Strowman, Wyatt, Joe, les Hardyz, Big Cass et Amore,

Allez je joue les coups surs

Enzo Amore and Big Cass, Kevin Owens, The Hardy Boys,Randy Orton,Neville,Roman Reigns, Samoa Joe, Alexa Bliss

J'ai joué presque pareil

J'ai quand même mis Aries, Bayley et Rollins vainqueurs :)

Fusiiiioooooon

C'est rigolo les fusions, on devrait en pondre plein dans un article. :)

Je suis voyant

Suivez mes conseils, je suis fiable, j'ai prédit Lassalle président, que le Brexit n'aurait pas lieu, que le Portugal ne peut pas remporter l'Euro, et que le PSG n'a aucune chance de gagner le titre NBA...

Connexion utilisateur

What's up?



16 novembre

Les pronos pour les Séries sont en ligne, tandis que les vignettes attendent vos légendes sagaces ici.

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Commentaires récents

Les Vignettes des Cahiers


Merde, j’ai toujours été nul au Puissance 4.


Retrouvez ici toutes nos vignettes !


Quotes of the Cahiers

"I'm gonna leave him in a pile of blood, and urine and vomit."
Brock Lesnar à propos de John Cena

"At 9 am Eastern time tomorrow, the WWE Network goes live. But the problem is you’re all gonna be so overwhelmed by the incredible content available, you won’t be able to turn it off. Adults will lose their jobs and kids will be expelled from schools for lack of attendance. In fact, you’re gonna be so mesmerized by the incredible content of the WWE Network that you won’t even have time to remove the garbage from your houses. Your places are gonna start to stink, rats will move in, and they’re gonna look like bigger pigsties than they already do. Ultimately, the government is gonna come along and condemn your homes and you will all be left homeless defending yourself on the street. Thank you very much."
Bad News Barrett

"He’s twisting him so much his twin brother is getting dizzy !"
JBL commentant un Giant Swing d'Antonio Cesaro sur l'un des frères Uso.

"I think I'm a little too old for you Jerry. I'm 26, I know you like them younger."
AJ Lee, à Raw, s'adressant à Jerry Lawler

"It looks like James Storm has had more partners than Taylor Swift lately, he should probably get tested"
Bad Influence

"Having watched that… I regret the doctors in Canada saving my life.”
Jerry Lawler, après le segment où Mae Young a accouché d'Hornswoggle.

"What's running through John Cena's mind? I don't give a crap what's running through his mind. What's more important is what's running down his leg."
Brock Lesnar

"Yes. Stop sending dumb tweets like this one. RT: @Kid_Antrim Any advice for me?"
Paul Heyman, sur Twitter

"With Kofi Kingston as the Intercontinental Champion, the bar has been lowered. And when the bar’s been lowered, mediocrity becomes acceptable. And when mediocrity becomes acceptable, society crumbles. And when society crumbles, civilization will end as we know it.”
Le Miz, Hell in a Cell

"Can you figure that? She's not able to get a date! I mean, even Natalya is able to get a date!"
Eve à propos de Layla

"I understand that you barbaric buffoons could easily eviscerate me and dispose of me like common trash. However, if you do so, I will not be a victim. I will be a martyr. A martyr for anyone who appreciates a sophisticated mind."
Damien Sandow, à DX.

"Apparently, giants can win the Super Bowl, but not matches at WrestleMania. You’re like ‘The Reverse Undertaker’. Who are you going to lose to this year? The boxer or the sumo wrestler?”"
Cody Rhodes au Big Show

"The Kliq is back, which is kind of ironic because "click" is the noise the audience's remote control makes every time Kevin Nash pops up on their TV screen."
CM Punk

"It's a conspiracy! C... O... N.... Spiracy!"
R-Truth

"I understand that... that Vince McMahon's gonna make money despite himself... he's a millionaire who should be a billionaire... you know why he's not a billionaire? It's because he surrounds himself with glad-handing nonsensical yes-men like John Laurinaitis, who's gonna tell him everything he wants to hear... and I'd like to think that maybe this company will be better after Vince McMahon is dead, but the fact is it's gonna get taken over by his idiotic daughter and his doofus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family."
CM Punk

"These people are not Jimmies. They are the greatest fans in the world!"
John Cena, à R-Truth qui venait de qualifier le public de Raw de "Little Jimmies".

"Can you imagine if Sheamus wins this thing? I mean, the international ramifications, I mean the buyrate, I’m talking about the demographic change and everything? If Sheamus wins this match, it will be huge, not only for him but for the Smackdown brand."
Booker T., pendant un Title Match opposant le champion poids lourds Randy Orton à Sheamus.

"When I’m done with him, he’s gonna have barbecue sauce fueling out from his belly button like a geyser."
Michael Cole à propos de Jim Ross

"The WWE has gone from the powerful "Austin 3:16" to the dominant and iconic "can you smell what the Rock is cookin?"... all the way to "You can't see me"? You can't see me, what are you, playing peek-a-boo? Believe me, we all can see you. A blindfolded, sleeping, stuck in the basement Stevie Wonder can see your monkey ass. How in the hell do you think we can miss you come out here with your bright ass purple shirt, before that bright green shirt, bright orange shirt like a big fat bowl of Fruity Pebbles?"
The Rock à John Cena

"Jerry Lawler has forgotten more about wrestling than the Miz has ever known."
CM Punk

"If anyone says you can't do something, if anyone says you can't live your dream... Believe them, because you can't."
The Miz

"William Regal did the real work with this young man. Shawn Michaels took $3000 from him, that's all he ever did."
CM Punk à propos de la formation de Daniel Bryan

"I would RKO my own grandmother if it meant keeping this title. And then I'd RKO YOUR grandmother just to see the look on her face."
Randy Orton, à Sheamus

Virgil: - Ted, what are you going to do for protection?
Ted DiBiase, jetant un coup d'oeil à Maryse: - Go to the drugstore.

"Her teeth are going to be like the Ten Commendments after this match: all broken."
Alicia Fox, à propos d'Eve Torres

"Layla is not married. She deserves a good husband. I should marry her before she meets him."
Jerry Lawler

"If I suck, why would a Perry deli – the top Perry deli – name their top-selling sandwich after me? It's called the Swaggie. It smells like freedom."
Jack Swagger

"I realize how much of a starmaking performance I had in McGruber. The reviews have been off the charts. As a matter of fact, they are speaking of a possible early Oscar nomination."
Chris Jericho

"I'm sure your mom's uterus is awesome."
Vicki StElmo à Vladimir Kozlov

"If we were in your era, I'd put a Sharpshooter on you faster than you can put a pair of cheap sunglasses on an ugly kid."
The Miz, à Bret Hart.

"When I look at you I don't see fans. I don't even see people. I see money, money, money, money. Dollar signs, dollar signs, dollar signs, dollar signs. With some of you, a lot of dollar signs because I see a lot of fat people in the audience and I know you paid for two seats. Thank you very much!"
Batista à Raw.

"We are real women with the body that God created us with."
Mickie James, la femme aux implants mammaires en silicone qui explosent dans le ring.

Don Johnson: "This is a mistake!"
The Miz: "Mistake? No. Pink shirts and white suits, that is a mistake."

"One nation under Punk, undivisible, with integrity and sobriety for all!"
CM Punk

Michael Cole: "Our guest at ringside, Marisse. Welcome."
Maryse: "Oh my god, Michael Cole, you vintage nerd. You can't even say my name right. I should punish you and just give you my French kiss."

"If I see you in my match tonight, I'm gonna tear your intestins out and jump rope with it. And that's not all. I'm gonna take my two fingers, I'm gonna dig up your nosedrills and I'll rip your brain out. And I'm gonna put it in a newspaper and I'm gonna smash it against a window."
Mike Tyson à Hornswoggle

Ted DiBiase: "My movie, the Marine II, is superior to the original Marine."
Cody Rhodes: "Ted, my fifth grade graduation video is superior to the original Marine."

"I'm on Raw, you're on Smackdown... Long distance relationships don't work, Chris."
Big Show

Jerry Lawler, après une promo de Maryse où elle a qualifié Melina de "petite poupée": "Did she just say poupée? Do you know what that means in French?"
Michael Cole: "What?"
Jerry Lawler: "I... I can't say it!"

"I respect her. There are a lot of things that she does that I couldn't do, being the size that she is."
Michelle McCool à propos de Mickie James.

"We have MVP on the stage, and PMS in the ring."
Goldust, à propos des divas assemblées dans le ring pendant les Slammy Awards 2009.

"It was kind of like the 300 at the battle of Thermopylae, but with better abs".
John Morrison à propos de la fin de son match à Survivor Series, quand il s'est retrouvé à 1 contre 3.

"Hi, I'm John Morrison, and one time I drove my Lexus 700 miles on a tank full of my own urine."
John Morrison

"I always said if I could put my brain in Andrew’s body he’d be a 20-time world champ."
Edge à propos de Andrew "Test" Martin